The square on the far right with tulips has special meaning for me: in the days of my mother's last illness, I had felt the need to do something hopeful, so I went out to plant some bulbs for the spring. I had just come in from adding a small bed of tulips to accent the kitchen garden when I received word that my mother had died.
We continue to go through the house, finding treasures and mysteries and memories in every drawer, every odd box in the back of a closet. Our mourning continues, each of us coping in our own ways. When I get to missing my mom, I mix up a batch of dough, cover it lovingly with her bread quilt, and look out the window to the kitchen garden, waiting hopefully for the joy of spring.